I hate the word dating. I will be a Junior at University in December, and I have been actively courting a young lady named Katie since my Junior year of high school. I don’t like the word dating, because it has a very negative, modern (don’t be confused- not all things modern are negative) connotation to it. Young men or women may date hundreds of people before they finally choose one to marry. Courting is a much more selective process.
It’s the difference between give and take.
It’s the decision to put her before myself, my wants, my desires- even before the ring.
As I began to court Katie I had to make a conscious decision that this would be different from the dating I had done in the past. Courtship ALWAYS has marriage in mind.
When you hear of someone courting, words like pursuit should come to mind. I am pursuing this young lady for marriage. This is, in my educated opinion, the ONLY God-honoring way to “date”.
So then what does it take to court?
I have three “Main Tenets” to a Bibl
It seems this archaic, but its not.
ical Courtship, though I am very certain that you could add several more. And I may do so in the future. But in order to Start your courtship; here are the tenets:
1. You MUST be able to see yourself with that person in a marital relationship.
2. You MUST be able to openly communicate with that person about that future.
3. (For the Men) You MUST be able to convey that to her Father and have EARNED his permission to court her.
Ladies and Gentlemen: As Christian, even in your youth, you are to embody the image of Christ- in EVERY aspect of life. This includes your love life.
We all know and accept that marriage is meant to be a symbolism of Christ and His Church. What if you could show others His love through your dating life as well? If you could become an example of just what it means to love and treat someone with the adoration and devotion that Christ reserves for us all.
Seem daunting? If so, should you be with her? Are you willing to live up to the standard that you are called to live up to with her? Have you established a relationship with Christ that shines firmly enough that others would expect the very same devout walk to shine through in a dating relationship?
And finally- Does she see and feel the same need to emulate this courtship that you do?
If any of the answers are negative, you need to rethink your position and why you are dating. Is it for your glory? For your own happiness? Or for HER happiness and HIS glory?
I’ll close with this verse from Song of Songs: Keep in mind that Song of Songs can be read both allegorically (as a symbol of Christ speaking to his Church) or literally as a Man speaking to his Wife.
You are beautiful, my darling, as Tirzah,
lovely as Jerusalem,
majestic as troops with banners.
Turn your eyes from me;
they overwhelm me.
Song of Songs 6:4-5
Tags: Before Marriage, Biblical Courtship, Biblical Dating, Christian courtship, Christian Dating, Christian Love, Courtship, Dating, Love
January 6, 2009 at 11:55 pm
While I agree with almost all that you said in this post I would ask you to consider point #3 and maybe revising it, for those of us who do not have active fathers in this part of our lives. My Pastors have stepped in for me on that place, so I’m not concerned because there should be permission and oversight given. However, not every lady in my situation, that desires to have a courtship (not a dateship), even had that at her disposal. To render the point the way you did sounds a bit harsh, for people who are searching for understanding about this subject and may become easily offended and get turned off, when it really is the Lords will. I think that as long as the woman in question has someone that the young man can go to for wisdom and authority in this area of her life, that’s what a young man should pursue. Ideally, Yes, it would be the Father, but our world is far from ideal.
Just a thought I had. Otherwise I liked it.